How do you end with a good impression (aside from the one you left on the seat)? Here's the landing procedure:

  • Place your knife and fork on the plate so that they are parallel to each other, at the eleven o'clock position (a diagonal from bottom right to top left) with the points facing away from you.

  • This is different from the "X" position, with the knife and fork crossing like an X over your plate, which indicates that you are not done with the plate, but merely resting between bites.

  • To correctly use the "X" position, the fork bottom should be on the left, and the knife bottom on the right.

  • Place your napkin next to your plate on the table (but again, NEVER until everyone is done eating and drinking). Place it loosely (not twisted or crumpled) and don't put it on the chair (or the chair might get dirty).

  • After the bill is paid, stand up, make sure you have your belongings, and get the hell out of that oppressive environment of manners and etiquette and whatnot.

SoYouWanna know more? Check out our full-length article SYW improve your table manners?