Thank goodness that winter has gone… with the arrival of summer, we can finally settle down, get a tan, and throw some shrimp on the barbie. Achieving the perfect barbecue meal used to be the terrain of dorky fathers, but today anyone can throw on a Kiss the Cook apron and grill a mean burger. So join in the summer block party as we teach you how to buy the right barbecue and use it (without setting your weave on fire).

1. DETERMINE YOUR COOKING NEEDS

Before you start barbecuing, you need to buy a barbecue. Isn't our research fantastic?

Like most appliances, barbecues range in price from crazy-cheap (a $20 hibachi) to crazy-expensive (a $2,000 state-of-the-art 3-tiered gas grill). The more you spend, the fancier they'll get. You don't need a fancy barbecue to do the basics (though the salespeople in the store will surely try to convince you otherwise). Rather, think about these considerations:

  • Consider space. If you have a large lawn or backyard, you can think big. If you're planning on using your 2' by 2' fire escape, most of your decision has already been made: get the smallest one possible.

  • Consider the number of people you cook for regularly. If you're planning on cooking for the Backstreet Boys AND 'N Sync, go big. If it's just you and 'N Sync's Justin Timberlake, prepare for a small one (no, that's not a slam against Justin… we don't even know the guy).

  • Figure out the portions of food you will cook on your grill. If you regularly hunt down Bambi, you'll need a large grill area. If you're more of a burger-and-dogs type person, think standard.

  • Take into account the need for shelves and workstations on the barbecue. It'll cost you, but you might find it convenient to have a place to hold your meat, utensils and seasonings.

  • Decide how often you'll use the grill. If you're just planning on a Fourth of July fiesta, buy a cheapo. But if you plan to hold "Burger Fridays" for you and all your friends throughout the entire calendar year, then invest in a better BBQ.

2. CHOOSE A TYPE OF GRILL

Once you've thought through all the considerations we listed in step 1, head to the store and let your pushy salesperson help you choose a grill. There are three types to consider:

Charcoal
Gas
Portable

Charcoal

  • Charcoal grills are for the hardcore chef. They give food an authentic, wood fire, smoked-in taste. A regular Texas barbecue experience.

  • With a charcoal grill, you build your own fire. While this can be a true Boy Scout's delight, it's scary for fire-phobes. After lighting the grill up, you must regulate the heat by turning the coals and try to find that balance between food that's properly cooked and out-right burnt.

  • These grills cook using the heat produced by the charcoal, so investigate options that let you control the amount of heat and flame produced.

  • Since you have to go through a bit of a procedure by lighting the coals and waiting for them to heat up, charcoal grills take longer to cook the food than gas grills.

  • Make sure that the grill has adjustable vents both in the lid above the cooking surface and in the charcoal pit so that you can control airflow.

  • How easily can you remove the ashes and/or refuel? Some grills have a hinged cooking surface that allows you to refill charcoal and/or remove ashes in mid-grill.

Gas

  • With a gas grill, you don't have to buy charcoal, and you don't have to worry about having enough lighter fluid around. The suspense of waiting for the coals to light up is gone, too. And the risk of burning yourself is lower, because with a gas grill the heat and flame level is controlled with a dial. So you don't have to worry about buying coals, lighter fluid, or emptying the ashes.

  • You do, however, have to worry about having a full tank. These grills cook by using propane or natural gas that comes from heat burners that lie under the surface of the grill. New grills usually come with a full propane tank, but you'll need to refill it periodically, depending on how often you use your grill.

  • We recommend that you purchase a grill with two or more burners, since you'll want an even distribution of heat to cook large objects or several objects at once. Be aware of the number of BTUs (British Thermal Units) generated by the grill, so you can get a rough estimate of the heat output. (The higher the BTUs, the hotter the grill will get.)

  • Burner quality matters more than the raw number of BTUs. Higher-quality grills have deflection devices over the burners to ensure an even distribution of heat.

  • Many pricier gas grills offer side burners for the preparation of smaller side dishes.

  • Many also come with built-in utility shelves to hold various flippers, tongs and plates of raw beef.

  • Some grills have glass windows in the lid so you can spy on your food, but this is a matter of preference rather than necessity.

Portable

Portable grills are ideal for city dwellers with no backyard or porch to speak of. There are two main types of portable grills:

  • Hibachis. Perfect for tailgaters and beach enthusiasts, hibachis are like little mini charcoal grills that are easily transportable. If you plan to cook outside a lot but don't have a lot of space, a hibachi is an excellent choice.

  • Electric grills. They're small and relatively easy to operate, and they've made George Foreman very rich. They're basically plug-in burners.

3. LIGHT THE GRILL

So you picked out a grill, brought it home from the store, it's sitting in a cardboard box in the driveway, and your guests are getting hungry and throwing raw meat at you. A subtle hint that it's time to light up the barbecue. Each barbecue has its own method of ignition:

Charcoal
Gas
Portable

Charcoal

  1. Make sure you have a bag of charcoal briquettes on hand. You also need a can of lighter fluid and some fireplace matches (though we recommend one of those long-necked butane lighters made especially for barbecues).

  2. Place the charcoal in a pyramid shape in the center of the grill.

  3. Douse the charcoal evenly with lighter fluid (usually about ½ cup of fluid for every 2 pounds of charcoal, but check the instructions on the bag).

  4. Let the lighter fluid soak in for a minute or two, as you tie on your apron.

  5. Put on your bravest face and put a flame to those coals. You won't see flames jumping out, but you should see smoke.

  6. Allow the briquettes to burn for a half an hour or so until they are covered with a white-ish ash. The ash means that the coals are burning.

  7. Spread the coals evenly over the bottom of the barbecue.

  8. Turn the coals using long tongs periodically while you're cooking.

  9. If you have trouble starting the fire, you can try to help it along by placing newspaper in the grill. Not a lot, but just enough to start the fire.

  10. NEVER spray lighter fluid on a barbecue that already has a fire going. The fire could travel up your spray-stream and set your body on fire. That would hurt.

Gas

  1. Always make sure your grill is placed in a well-ventilated area. Never attempt to barbecue while inside a closed area like a garage or shed. Make sure your grill is out in the open, away from the house and out of the danger of low hanging tree branches. This is for obvious reasons.

  2. Make sure the propane tank is full. This will prevent any embarrassing situations like having to leave your guests and a half- cooked meal on the grill while you run to have your tank refilled.

  3. Make sure there are no gas leaks. To test this, light the grill and turn the control knob to "high." The height of the flame will give you a good sense that the gas tank, regulator and grill fittings are properly secure and thus, that there are no leaks. A very low flame is usually indicative that there is a leak. If this happens, sometimes it takes a simple adjustment like tightening the fittings. Always refer to the owner's manual that came with your grill for information on fixing leaks.

  4. Turn the gas on by flicking a switch or twisting a dial, and baby, you've got flame! Or, in the case of some less expensive or older models, it may be necessary to start the gas and then light a match. But either way it's pretty easy.

  5. Once the grill has been lit, turn the control knob to "high" and close the cover. This is known as "preheating" the grill, and will cook the food better when the time comes.

  6. Some grills have a built-in temperature gauge. When the gauge reaches "medium," you're ready to cook.

  7. If you're not lucky enough to have a temperature gauge, just light your grill and cover it for about 8 to 10 minutes.

  8. Here's how you know when the fire is just right for cooking: It's ready when you can hold your hand 4 inches from the heat for 3 seconds before pulling it away. Although this method may seem rather sadistic, it's a tried-and-true technique for measuring the heat. Don't be stupid a try to keep your hand there for 3 seconds, even if your hand is on fire.

Portable

  • For hibachis, simply follow the instructions for a charcoal grill. Only use less charcoal.

  • For electric grills, plug it in and turn it on. We hope you can handle it.

4. START COOKING, USING THESE RECIPES

Your new grill can be a source of healthy eating, or (with the application of enough greasy, fatty sauces) a source of heart attacks. It all depends on your eating habits, and what your taste buds crave.

A few general grilling tips:

  • Cooking times will vary depending on your grill. Most grills come with a cookbook, or charts that list suggested cooking times for that particular grill.

  • Precook ribs, thick cuts of meat, and whole turkeys indoors before grilling.

  • Let frozen meat defrost as much as possible before throwing it on the grill. It'll taste better that way.

  • Trim excess fat from meat before cooking to minimize flare-ups - and your waistline.

  • Brush barbecue sauces and glazes on only during the last several minutes of grilling; if they splatter and drip down on the flames, the sugar in them can cause flare-ups and smoke.

  • If your meat gets burned or charred, simply cut away the blackened portion (unless you like it that way).

  • Try to practice a few times before you start cooking for people you care about… as with any other activity, a little practice will go a long way.

While it's possible to get fancy with your grill and create mouthwatering, gourmet-style meals, we've decided to start simple. Just for you grilling novices, we've compiled a list of the most popular grill-friendly foods, along with simple instructions on how to cook 'em.

Hamburgers
Hot Dogs
Chicken
Steak
Vegetables

Hamburgers

Although you may be tempted to buy those pre-formed frozen burger patties, we recommend that you buy fresh ground beef (a.k.a. "chopped meat") and form your own damn patties. And make that chuck ground beef while you're at it, with a fat content of around 20%. Here's how to start:

  1. Mash the meat into tight balls (about the size of a baseball).

  2. Press them firmly into little flat cakes, about ½ inch to ¾ inch thick.

  3. Place them on medium-hot grill.

  4. Cook for about 5 to 7 minutes for each side (depending on how bloody or charred you want them).

  5. Turn them over when you suspect that one side is getting burned. You'll be able to tell.

  6. Resist the temptation to press down on your burgers with a spatula during cooking. All that does is encourage flare-ups and dry out the meat. It also can make the meat stick to the grill, making it tough to turn over.

  7. If you want to add cheese, do so during the last minute or so.

  8. Make sure that you cook until there isn't any bright red meat. We don't want you eating any nasty bacteria.

Hot Dogs

Hot dogs are a cinch. It's ideal to grill fresh dogs, but if yours are frozen, defrost them first for a few minutes in a pot of boiling water first. Here's the drill:

  1. With a sharp knife, ever so slightly slice the top of each hot dog a couple of times, to make sure that the insides cook nicely.

  2. Throw them on a medium-hot grill.

  3. Cook hot dogs until they're slightly blistered on all sides (approximately 5 minutes).

  4. Turn them frequently.

  5. Invite us over to help you eat them.

Chicken

Grilling chicken is challenging because it needs to be cooked long enough so that the inside is THOROUGHLY done (ever hear of salmonella?) without the outside being burned. Here's the recipe:

  1. Make sure the chicken is dead. And plucked.

  2. Throw the chicken onto a medium-hot grill.

  3. Cook for between 30 and 45 minutes.

  4. Turn every 10 minutes.

  5. If you're doing thin chicken cutlets, that time can be decreased slightly.

  6. Brush the chicken with BBQ sauce (or a sauce of your choice) during the last 10 minutes.

  7. To check and see if your bird is done, cut into the thickest part of the meat. It should have turned a white color. If the juices run clear, you're good to go.

Steak

The best steaks for grilling are no thicker than 1½ inches, and have narrow streaks of fat running through them.

  1. For optimum flavor, marinate your raw steaks in the refrigerator for approximately 2 hours before grilling (by "marinate," we mean stick them in a bowl of your favorite sauce or dressing, like teriyaki or red wine).

  2. Throw those babies on a hot (setting = high) grill. You should hear a sizzle.

  3. Cook for about 5 to 10 minutes for each side.

  4. Again, don't go the bloody-red route. While rare steak may taste good, it's a major health risk.

Vegetables

Nearly any vegetable can be prepared on the grill. The biggest problem is that they take kinda long to cook. Speed the process by parboiling your veggies indoors until they are nearly done. Then brush them with a good oil and sprinkle them with seasonings. Now, on to the grilling:

  1. Put them on a medium-hot grill.

  2. You can thread a variety of vegetables on skewers to make them easier to manage, or you can cut large veggies in half and grill them individually.

  3. The best veggies for grilling are tomatoes, eggplants, peppers, squash, and, of course, corn on the cob.

  4. Turn the vegetables frequently, as they burn easily.

  5. Vegetables should be removed when they can be easily pierced with a fork.

5. MAINTAIN THE GRILL

While most people are too lazy to clean their grills after every single meal, you should at least clean it once every couple weeks, especially if you're using it on a regular basis. Unless you want your grilled corn on the cob to taste like ribs, you should follow these tips:

  1. To keep your grill from getting crusty, either spray it with non-stick cooking spray (like Pam) or brush it with vegetable oil before using it.

  2. Try lining the cooking grates with heavy-duty aluminum foil to make cleanup easier and extend the life of your grill.

  3. Be sure to change your charcoal frequently (if you have a charcoal grill or hibachi, of course), and make sure the grill doesn't get wet. When leftover, half-burned charcoal gets damp, it forms an acid. And acid is bad.

  4. If you have a gas grill, after removing the food, close the cover and place the control knob on the "high" setting for a few minutes. This will allow any sauce that stuck to the grill to "burn off," making cleaning the grill easier.

  5. Soak the cooking grates in warm, soapy water after use. If the burned-on food is being stubborn, attack it with oven cleaner and a wire grill brush or a steel wool pad (like Brillo). But be sure to read the instructions on the oven cleaner, and don't overdo it. Grill surfaces can be sensitive.

Like most food preparation techniques, grilling is not rocket science. Grill the way you live - with reckless abandon. Getting to know your grill and how various foods taste when prepared on it will make your barbecue experience a pleasant one. And your friends will feel better at that Fourth of July barbecue knowing an experienced chef is at the helm. Oh, and we'll take a cheeseburger, medium-well.