4. USE SUNSCREEN

    The problem
    The solution

If you follow our simple three-step program every day, we—and cosmetic companies everywhere—guarantee that you will soon be sporting a much more pleasant face. But, of course, even a pretty face can be heavily abused, and we're not just talking about Mrs. Donald Trump. The worst culprit out there is the sun. That filthy bastard is sending hate your way every single minute you're outside. Sure, tromping along in the rain may not sound like a dance with the devil, but most of the damage done by the sun is caused by ultraviolet (UV) rays that can penetrate cloud cover, car windows, and even some clothing. So a great way to address this problem is to find a moisturizer that contains a sun-blocking ingredient. Find that nectar, and you've just saved yourself two slatherings of goo.

The problem

There are two types of UV rays that are hunting you down. The first, UVA rays, are known as "tanning rays" and are used in many sun lamps and other sources of artificial tanning. These guys were once thought to be pretty safe and cool, you know, like George Hamilton back when he was in the A-Team. But now the party's over. The American Medical Association and the American Academy of Dermatology have linked UVA rays with malignant melanoma, the deadliest kind of skin cancer. As for UVB rays, those are the ones that cause sunburn and no one has ever been dumb enough to think that they're a friend of ours. So stick to that bottled barbecue sauce if you want to sport a tan.

The solution

You will need to use a wide-spectrum sunscreen, which will keep both types of UV rays off of you. The strength of a sunscreen is measured by the number of its SPF, or "sun protection factor." The SPF rating corresponds to the factor of time that the product will allow you to remain in the sun before getting burned. If you have dark skin and can sit in the direct sun for an hour before beginning to burn, SPF-15 sunscreen will let you hang out for fifteen hours in the sun before you begin to cook, which means you can have a blast skinny-dipping in Alaska. Similarly, if you're an albino Irishman, bathing in SPF-45 may let you spend a minute-and-a-half at the beach . . . if you keep that sweater on.

Sunscreens typically contain one of two common ingredients to deflect UVA and UVB rays. The first is a form of titanium (titanium dioxide) which deflects both sets of harmful rays. The second is octyl methoxycinnamate, which works against only UVB rays—not everything that you need, but a good start. The newest product on the scene is called z-cote, which is a reformulated version of that Australian classic, zinc. But rather than looking like a warring Samoan, this stuff comes in a very fine form and won't end up all over your clothes.