6. UNDERGO THE DONATION PROCEDURE

All those cranky hygiene filmstrips in junior high told you that that every month (unless you're pregnant, which wasn't supposed to happen in junior high!), you develop and lose an egg, which washes out of your body with the lining of your uterus during your menstrual period. Hello, cramps!

While you're an egg donor, you will be producing more than one egg per month. With your ovaries on overdrive from daily injections of gonadotropins (hormones that are self-administered, unless you can talk someone into giving you shots) you'll produce about 15 to 18 eggs in a menstrual cycle. The medical term for this is "bloating in a big way." So whatever symptoms you usually suffer from while menstruating, expect them to be worse. And find some sweatpants or a nice loose dress to wear for a while.

The biggest risk to you as an egg donor (besides the bloating) is unplanned pregnancy. This is a real danger -- with all of those eggs ripe for pregnancy, your chances of pregnancy dramatically increase. So be sure to follow the instructions your clinic gives you about being intimate with your partner, as you are mega-fertile while on the hormone cycle.

A donor cycle takes three to four weeks, and though the procedure varies from clinic to clinic, this is a standard approach:

  1. When you begin your menstrual period before the scheduled donation, you will begin 7-10 days of injections of a drug called Lupron, which suppresses your natural cycle. Remember, you are getting these shots at home, administered either by your own hand or the hand of a brave friend.

  2. After the Lupron, you will begin about a week of injections of a gonadotropin hormone such as Pergonal. Gonadotropins are "super ovulating drugs" that induce your ovaries to make many, many eggs. There are some new drugs that allow you to take gonadotropin as an oral medication, but don't count on it.

  3. After about five days, you will be scheduled for a transvaginal ultrasound. This ultrasound will produce images of your follicles on a small video monitor. It's not painful (though it won't exactly tickle either). During this procedure, the clinic is checking to see how big your follicles are getting, which is a way to tell how many eggs you're making.

  4. You will begin daily blood tests to monitor your estradiol level, which is the fluid in your follicles. Again, the clinic is checking to see how the eggs are progressing. Around this time, the many eggs building up inside of you may inspire you to start clucking and scratching in the dirt in search of feed.

  5. Depending on your estradiol levels and other considerations, the doctor will prescribe Human Chorionic Gonadotropin, or HCG, the night before the retrieval procedure is scheduled -- HCG triggers ovulation. Timing is crucial at this point. Do not be late for the retrieval appointment, or the whole process may go, uh, down the tubes.

  6. Do not eat, drink, chew gum or do the wild thing the night before the procedure. It is surgery, after all. Have someone drive you to the clinic or medical office, and drive you home. (If your chauffeur is your husband or boyfriend, he may be asked to wait elsewhere to prevent inadvertently chatting with the recipient dad, who will also be waiting.) Your clinic will tell you specifically how to prepare for the procedure.

  7. Retrieval usually takes less than 30 minutes and takes place in a surgical suite. You will be asked to empty your bladder, remove your jewelry and eyeglasses/contact lenses, and put on a glamorous, backless, paper hospital gown. You will then be given a general anesthetic. Once you're rested and numb, the doctor will remove your eggs carefully with a needle that he/she guides by watching an ultrasound monitor. Again, this varies from clinic to clinic, but you can expect this minimally invasive surgery.

  8. Once harvested, you will spend about an hour in a recovery room, and then you can go home later the same day. You may feel sleepy and/or nauseated from the anesthesia. You will be prescribed antibiotics to prevent infection from the surgery, and most women return to work/school/rodeos the following day. This is a tough road for your emotions and your body, so donors are almost always limited to three or four donation cycles in their lifetimes.

What happens to the eggs? They're placed in a petri dish with chemical solutions, and are mixed in the lab with the recipient dad's sperm. A few of the fertilized eggs will be implanted into the recipient mom, and their journey towards family life will begin. The additional eggs can be frozen at the clinic for use by the recipient couple if this pregnancy does not progress to full term, or to access at a later date for an additional pregnancy, or they can be used by the clinic for other recipients who accept your profile. Of course, if you agree in advance that you only want this couple to have your eggs, you can pull them off the market once the procedure is over.

As with anything having to do with your own body, becoming an egg donor is your decision, and it does have its fair share of risks. You are injecting yourself with hormones, you are undergoing surgery, and there will be a baby running around out there that has half of your genetic makeup. So don't take this entire procedure lightly; it can be extremely emotional, and doctors claim that the donors who leave the healthiest are those who think of it as a donation, not a money-making scheme.

By the way, whether you're doing it for the family or the money, it's still a fantastic present to give. We salute you!