2. CLEAN OUT YOUR CLOSET

You've graduated from college. You're out in the real world now and it's time to trade in your T-shirts and Tevas for a sophisticated, stylish, adult wardrobe. Yes, we know it's hard to let go of that worn-out flannel shirt you wore during finals in school, but what looked good in 1993 just doesn't cut it now, Cobain.

If you have a friend (male or female) who is fashion capable, have him/her help you go through your closet and toss out anything that is outdated and/or objectionable. Of course you can keep that trusty old flannel shirt for sentiment's sake, but refrain from wearing it out in public.

Just in case you need some additional help, we feel compelled to tell you that the following items in your closet must be burned immediately:

  • Anything that is neon, stonewashed, or acid-washed.
  • T-shirts featuring the words "Big Johnson," "Co-ed Naked," "Whassup," or any popular catchphrases.
  • Tapered-leg high-waisted pants that are heavy on the pleats (Cavariccis, anyone?).
  • Tie-dyed garments with dancing bears. You're living in the past, man.
  • M.C. Hammer pants. You're living in the past, man.

A word about fit

Stan, our fashion expert, preaches that one of the biggest fashion mistakes men make is wearing clothes that don't fit properly. From casual wear to suits, clothes that are too tight or too baggy are big fashion gaffes.

  • Even if you can bounce a quarter off of your stomach, wearing tight clothing just looks tacky. Some men think that if they wear pants that are too small, it'll make them look skinnier. Rather, it's just an effective method of damaging your intestines and gonads. So use the two-finger test: if you can't easily stick two fingers (sideways) into the waist of your pants, they're too tight.

  • Unless you're an extra in a Puff Daddy video, wearing big, baggy clothes looks sloppy and gives the impression that you don't care about your appearance. You know your clothes are too baggy when they continually get caught on doorknobs or small children. You should never have to continually hike your pants up throughout the day.

Most retail and department stores will do alterations, so seek out a professional to make sure you're buying clothes that fit properly.

And if you don't already, you should consider subscribing to a men's fashion magazine such as MAXIM (not only do we plug ourselves, we plug our gurus). If you don't want to pay for a year's subscription, at least grab an issue off the rack at the start of each season just to see what's new in fashion. Don't forget to pay for it.