5. HOOK IT UP

You bought yourself a beautiful DVD player. Now you have to hook the thing up. That is, you do if you want to actually watch something from it anyway. It's amazing how many people have difficulty with this kind of stuff, but then again, 12 people found O.J. innocent.

Having read the audio section you're likely to realize that your DVD player might have 6 output jacks for sound alone! Yep, but let's start simple and work our way up to 6 or more.

If you are just going to hook up your DVD player straight to your TV, then you can plug one end of a connector into the standard "video out" connection - that's the round and probably yellow-colored jack - on back of your DVD player and connect the other end to the "video in" on the back your TV. Do the same with the audio connections. The only difference is that audio will have both a left and a right connection on the back of your DVD player and TV. That's it. Start watching porn.

For a clearer picture you might want to use the S-Video output. S-Video is a round connection with a funky looking set of pins inside. If you decide to try S-Video, just hook one end of the S-Video cable into the DVD player and the other end into the TV. Easy. (But you should know that not all TVs have S-Video outlets, though most new ones do.)

Now that you've got your player, all you need is something to watch. You're on your own - although we personally suggest that you take advantage of your increased picture quality and zoom capacities by viewing exceptionally large amounts of top-quality pornography.