2. LEARN TO SHOP DEFENSIVELY

Shopping for presents can be fun, especially if you're already a big fan of the activity and know exactly what you're doing. But if you're the type who hates shopping (in fact, your mother still buys your clothes), buying gifts can be so frustrating that you're likely to break down crying right in the middle of the mall. If you're inclined to having such breakdowns, here are some tips on how to prevent a scene.

  1. Plan WAY in advance to buy the gift
  2. Stock up on generic (but appealing) gifts
  3. Shop with someone who knows what they're doing
  4. Buy online or from a mail order catalog
  5. Chip in with someone


Plan WAY in advance to buy the gift

Many a present shopping expedition has failed in the past because the giver didn't allot enough time for it. Several Murphy's law-ish things can happen if you shop at the last minute: you run out of money, you have no time, a major earthquake swallows your house, etc. So here's how to establish a schedule:

  1. The first step is to get yourself a wall calendar, hang it in a place that you'll see it, and-here's the secret - use it. Mark down all the gift-giving occasions, like birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. Whenever you get invited to a special event such as a graduation or bar mitzvah, mark it down immediately. If this advice does nothing else, at least it'll make you feel popular every time you pass by your calendar.

  2. Look up the date of exactly two weeks prior to the event and draw a big red X through it. This is the day you will start your shopping. And we do mean start shopping, not start thinking about what to shop for (you should have done that already). Go out on this X-ed day and really look for something to get the givee. One exception: if you're shopping for gifts in honor of end-of-December festivities, start right after Thanksgiving.

  3. Even if you don't find something on the first couple of days of shopping, at least you'll have ruled out certain stores or ideas. You should have the gift purchased (or mail-ordered) by a week before you have to give it away.

Stock up on generic (but appealing) gifts

No, framed pictures of yourself are not appealing. But if you happen to spot a wallet sale at Macy's or if you can save on bath stuff (soaps, lotions, etc.) by buying in bulk from the Body Shop, then stock up on these items. However, don't give these back-up gifts to close friends and relatives that you see on a regular basis. Chances are, you'll be giving them gifts a lot, and it'd be just plain sad if your best friend ended up with matching wallets for his birthday and Christmas. These gifts are more for third-tier friends.

Here's an additional tip to keep you out of trouble: keep a list of who you're giving these generic presents to. You don't want to make the mistake of giving Pamela a great "one-of-a-kind" jewelry box, then giving Pamela's sister the exact same jewelry box two months later.

Shop with someone who knows what they're doing

There are some people who just seem to be born with a shopping gene: they ask you a few questions about the potential recipient, and instantly pick out a great gift at a great price. So if you normally hate shopping, then bring along one of these genetic mutants. Their experience will find you bargains and steer you clear from purchasing presents that no one in their right minds would want. If you're lucky, your shopping sidekick will get so caught up in the activity, he/she'll end up taking over and all you'll have to do is follow him/her around.

Buy online or from a mail order catalog

You'll definitely have to plan in advance to do this because it usually takes 5-7 days for packages to be delivered (and with some gifts, it could take up to 8 weeks!), but shopping online or from a mail order catalog saves you the trouble of changing out of your PJs. We're not going to get into the technicalities of how to find a great deal online; rather, we suggest that you use a "shop bot" - a site that helps you find the best deal on a particular product. We recommend MySimon.com and Amazon.com.

Chip in with someone

This is a good way to go if you're poor and have poor friends - many people would prefer one nice gift instead of five crappy ones. This is also a great option when you'd like to get a really nice gift. For instance, you and your sisters can chip in and send your parents on a luxurious cruise as an anniversary gift.