2. ORDER DRESSES FOR YOU AND THE BRIDESMAIDS

When it comes to the dresses, you're at the bride's mercy. Just hope she isn't into ruffled skirts and Peter Pan collars. If the bride seeks your advice in deciding how to dress the wedding party, then for the love of God jump on the opportunity to help her choose something that will look good on you and the other bridesmaids. (With an emphasis on you. Hey, being a maid of honor has to have some perks, right?) Besides, the bride might use the opportunity to play fashion mad scientist with all of her friends, so there has to be a voice of sanity.

Odds are you and the bridesmaids aren't all the same size and aren't all going to look good in every dress. Scout out the options the bride lays out, and offer suggestions if you sense she's lost. Discuss the styles the bride has picked out for you with the other bridesmaids. Some potential issues:

  • Age - Are you all the same age? If there are both 25-year-old and 45-year-old bridesmaids, aim for a dress that's appropriate for the whole range. The bigger the age range, the less experimental the bride should get.

  • Dress size - Are you all a perfect size 6? (Bitches.) Find a dress that's flattering for the size 14 before you worry about the size 4.

If you run into trouble trying to make everybody happy, explain to the bride that she could also consider slightly different styles of the same color dress (or the same style in varying colors) to flatter each member of the wedding party. Whoever said that everyone has to look like identical twins? Suggest that the bride tinker with pattern and color so that the bridesmaids will be happy. Remember that picking out the same dress for several women can be one of the most stressful parts of the wedding planning and the bride will lean on you for support.

Also keep in mind that you're gonna have to pay up. Unless the bride is marrying royalty, you'll probably have to pay for your own dress, shoes, bag, jewelry, Valium, and therapist. If the bride insists that you have your hair, nails and make-up professionally done for the wedding - because she's really high-maintenance and thinks you should be, too - it is customary for her to offer to pay for these services . . . but don't depend on it. You may be expected to pay for all aspects of your appearance on the wedding day. If you think the cost of being a member of the wedding party is going to be an issue for you, make sure to explain your feelings to the bride very early in the process. She's sure to choose more moderately-priced dresses and accessories if she knows you don't have much money to waste.