2. GET RID OF ROACHES

The most common pest in the world is the German cockroach, or Blatela Germanica. (Aren't we smart? We speak Latin!) There are other species (e.g., American cockroaches, Oriental cockroaches), but regardless of the species, they're all pretty gross.

Detecting if you have roaches

What makes cockroaches so unhealthy is that they secrete a fluid that "has an offensive and sickening odor that may ruin food," and "this odor may also be imparted to dishes that are apparently clean" (at least, according to P.G. Koehler of the National Food Database). Besides that, a roach infestation indicates that your home is generally dirty and unsanitary. After all, what's the first impression you have of a restaurant that is crawling with cockroaches?

You can usually tell if you have roaches if:

  • You see the suckers.

  • You find dead roaches in your cabinet, cupboard, under the refrigerator, or in plain sight. Or alternatively, your cat keeps dropping dead roaches it finds on your pillow.

  • You find roach droppings (particles of black grit, an oily substance) around the kitchen or in and around cabinets.

  • You have a garage or an attic, especially a damp and/or warm one.

  • You have a lot of open food sitting around, standing water (like a sink of dirty dishes), or if you let the garbage pile up.

Getting rid of roaches

According to the National Food Safety Database, there are four effective and inexpensive ways you can chemically kill the roaches infesting your home:

  1. Sprays. You can choose between residual sprays and total release sprays:

    • Residual sprays are true to their name, leaving a pesticide which repels roaches for 2-3 weeks. Aerosol bombs, for example, are residual sprays.

    • Total release sprays don't provide residual action; they kill instantly and only while they're spraying (or just afterwards). These kill on contact. Those cans of Raid you have under your sink are total release sprays. If you're going to spray an entire room, then keep cabinets and drawers open for efficiency.
    You have to be very careful using sprays; they can be toxic, and you won't feel particularly healthy after ingesting roach spray. So remove all food, eating utensils, and pets before spraying.

  2. Insecticides. You can buy powders or other concentrated insecticides to mix with water and deliver in a compressed air sprayer (it's kinda like a water gun). A bonus to this method is that outdoor species of roaches won't enter through treated doorways/cracks. If you choose this route, you must absolutely consult a professional exterminator.

  3. Baits (aka Roach Motels) are readily available and are highly effective killers of the German cockroach. Products such as Combat and Raid MAX can be placed in the kitchen, bathroom, and other infested areas. Baits are nice because they attract roaches, trick them to taking poison into the walls to the other roaches, and then it kills them all at once. Baits are usually effective for three to twelve months.

  4. Boric acid is applied as a dust in wall voids, paths along which the roaches travel, and other hangouts. It's organic, generally safe, and should be used if the rest of your home has already been thoroughly treated for maximum effectiveness. A benefit of boric acid is that cockroaches will transfer dust from roach to roach, reducing a hidden roach metropolis into a ghost town. If you want to know the grizzly details, boric acid eats through cockroach shells gradually, taking anywhere from a few hours to a few days to kill the suckers.

  5. Preventative control. If there's nothing to eat in your home, most roaches will just go away. Roaches like open sources of water and standing mess (like crumbs and things rotting at the bottom of a garbage bag). So to get rid of your roach problem, either make sure that you don't leave a mess around, or keep your mess tightly enclosed in thick plastic. Keeping your food wrapped and your dishes clean will probably lead your roaches to look for greener pastures. At the very least, combining this effort with another pest control method will be highly effective.

  6. Predators. Many claim to have never seen a roach in their home that their cat or dog wasn't in the process of killing. While you can't depend on a cat, dog, or ferret to completely eliminate a roach infestation, they can keep the outside populations that you see moving at night under control. Also, the sheer joy of watching a beloved pet get their claws on a nasty bug is pure catharsis.