Statistics show that at some point in your life, you will get robbed (and we're not talking about the $9.50 you shelled out for Battlefield Earth). Things get even scarier for apartment/dorm dwellers, because crimes are easier to commit in apartment buildings. Why? Because so many people traipse in and out of an apartment building, that it's much tougher to keep non-residents out. After all, it's pretty easy to notice an extra body in a house, but it's tougher to know who should and who shouldn't be walking down the hall of an apartment building.

So what to do? WHAT DO YOU DO?! Dude, take a chill pill. Yes, apartments are prone to security breaches, but there are options other than barricading yourself in your apartment with a shotgun. Instead, we suggest that you read on and learn some simple steps for erasing that target from your door. Then the burglar will rob your neighbors, not you.

1. USE COMMON SENSE

We know what you're thinking: "I'll never get robbed. Who'd want to steal a half-can of Diet Coke and an electric toothbrush?" If those really are the only things in your apartment, you have good reason to not fret. However, if you have something you'd like to keep -- say, a TV, a stereo, a computer, money, a Picasso -- it's wise to take precautions.

Your goal is not to set up a complex system of booby-traps to harm thieves (a la Home Alone); your goal is to deter criminals from even trying to break into your apartment in the first place. If someone really wants to break in, chances are that he/she is going to find a way (be it by breaking a window or climbing up the fire escape). Therefore, you want to eliminate all signs that say, "Hey, look at me! Lots of goodies and no security! Come on in!"

The most important step is to just use some common sense. For instance, lock the door when you leave. Don't leave the windows open all day long. Don't tape little notes on the door directed to your significant other reading "Gone all day! Left the door unlocked for you!" Just use your brain!

There are two different situations for which you'll need to prepare:

When you're not on vacation
When you're on vacation

When you're not on vacation

  1. ALWAYS lock your doors and your windows when you're not home. Duh.

  2. NEVER leave your door ajar (or unlocked) when you just "run out to the corner." In the time it takes you to run downstairs to the laundry room, your stereo and collection of Yanni CDs could be gone. Which would be a shame. Well, maybe not the CDs.

  3. It is possible that you could walk in on a crime in progress. If you suspect someone is your apartment, DO NOT enter it under ANY circumstances. Call the police immediately. Yanni would never take a bullet for you, so you shouldn't for him.

  4. NEVER "buzz anyone up" or let anyone in who you don't know. If that repairman or tenant-who-forgot-his/her-keys turns out to be Bobby/Brenda Burglar, you not only put yourself safety at risk, but you'll also become the schmuck who let the burglar into the building. Your neighbors will likely become slightly peeved with you. So always turn away a "repairman" you didn't call, and always insist on seeing identification and a work order from a repairman you DID call. If they can't produce these, send them on their way and call the cops.

  5. NEVER leave a spare key anywhere outside of your apartment. Yeah, they know about the old hide-it-under-the-doormat trick, 007. So go get it out of there. Now. If you're particularly nervous about forgetting your keys, then leave a spare with the doorman (if you have one) or with a next door neighbor.

  6. DO NOT write your full name on your nameplate near the front door of the building (if your building has such options). Instead, just write either your last name and first initial, or just your last name. This goes especially for women living alone, who tend to be targets -- potential criminals will look for women's names and go there first.

  7. DO NOT be overly ostentatious about expensive possessions. Remember, you want to minimize the lure of your place. So don't waltz around telling everyone about your new toys - you never know who's listening.

When you're on vacation

Obviously, when you're away from your apartment for more than a day, the risk of a break-in skyrockets. But that doesn't mean you can't travel - you just have to take precautions. The key to this is to make it appear as if you're not on vacation with a good bluff (cloning and holographic projections not required).

  1. If you have any very valuable possessions (e.g. expensive jewelry, priceless art, time machine blueprints), take them with you or leave them with a responsible friend (or in a bank safety deposit box). But if you're lugging hundreds of pounds of stuff with you, you've probably slipped into the category of paranoid weirdo. So we just recommend having a reliable friend keep your loot.

  2. Install timers for your lights and television to give the illusion of inhabitation. These are inexpensive and available at any hardware store, Target, Wal-Mart, and their ilk.

  3. Don't allow your newspapers or mail to pile up - remember, criminals are surprisingly observant. Get a trusted neighbor to pick your stuff up for you.

  4. Just in case the unthinkable happens, have pictures and/or a list of valuable possessions to give to the police and insurance company. You're probably not going to see your TV again (dry your tears, you baby), but your insurance may cover theft. And don't write down stuff you don't have - you could wind up in jail with the very person who burglarized your place. Then we'll laugh.

  5. THE BEST IDEA: get a reliable friend to house-sit for you. Many people will be willing to do it for free, or at least if you give them money for food and videos. It's just like baby-sitting, but without the noise, burping, and stinky diapers.

2. GET STURDY LOCKS

Now we move on to the advanced stuff. But before you get too excited, the "advanced stuff" doesn't involve Batman suits or vigilante groups. Sorry. What it does involve is getting some sturdy locks. So even though a thief will probably find a way into your apartment if he/she really wants to, if the burglar can't break the lock in a few minutes or less, he/she will probably give up and move on to another target. Remember that they don't want to be caught. Would you?

Doors
Windows

Doors

You need to be able to get in and out of your apartment in less than an hour, so don't encase your door in steel and install fourteen deadbolts. Once again: "paranoid weirdo." You only really need two locks. Here's how to pick the perfect lock for your door:

  • Use a tight-fitting, solid core wood or metal door for all entrances into your apartment.

  • Use a quality, heavy-duty, deadbolt lock with a one-inch throw bolt.

  • Use a quality, heavy-duty, doorknob-in-lock set with a dead-latch mechanism.

  • Use a quality, heavy-duty, strike plate with 3-inch screws to penetrate into a wooden doorframe. The strike plate is the part of the door that actually holds the lock in the place; therefore, buy the strongest one available and have a qualified locksmith properly install it.

  • Use a wide-angle 180 peephole mounted no higher than 60 inches.

  • If you have sliding doors, install a charley bar. That way, when a burglar breaks in, you can hit him over the head with the charley bar. Just kidding; it's a bar that latches into the track and keeps the door from sliding.

  • Follow these lock recommendations for back, side, or garage doors.

Windows

The most important thing about securing windows is to make sure they absolutely cannot be opened from the outside and that they're locked whenever you're not in your apartment:

  • Secure all accessible windows with secondary blocking devices.

  • Block accessible windows so that they may open no more than 6 inches for ventilation.

  • Use anti-lift devices to prevent window from being lifted out.

  • If you live in an especially high-crime area, consider metal bars for added security. Just take note that these are sometimes illegal because they are a possible fire hazard.

3. GET SOME ALLIES

Power in numbers is pretty good advice when dealing with security. This won't require forming a militia (sorry to get your hopes up) but rather becoming friendly with two groups of people: neighbors and security guards.

Neighbors
Security guards

Neighbors

You know the woman that has sixteen cats, smells like Lysol, and only eats Good 'N' Plentys? Well, besides being your neighbor and source of free entertainment, she can also help you guard your apartment from crime. Besides getting your mail and newspapers when you're on vacation, your neighbors can keep an eye out for suspicious activity around your apartment and alert the police if they see any. And as we already said, consider giving a trusted neighbor a key to your place so he/she can check in periodically when you're gone for a while.

Also, don't be a jerk -- you should reciprocate. If someone wants you to keep an eye on their apartment, just do it.

Finally, the more people you know in your building, the easier it will be to spot suspicious "visitors." So make an effort to meet people and learn a little about them. Not only will you make friends, but you'll also have formed your own little neighborhood watch.

Security guards

If you have a security guard in your apartment, you should take advantage of this to the fullest. Get to know him/her - if you do, it's much more likely that he/she will keep an eye on your place and monitor visitors to your apartment. It's also a good idea to advise the security guard to NEVER let anyone asking for you into the building without your permission. Finally, let the security guard know when you'll be on vacation. That way, if Shady Repairman (cue evil music) shows up, the guard will know it's a ruse to steal your precious ceramic broccoli collection.

If you think that your security guard spends more time scratching his/her butt than securing the building, don't be afraid to speak up to the landlord or the security company. It's your building after all, and you're paying for that security guard with your rent.

Finally, if you don't have a security guard, think about petitioning your neighbors to get one brought on. It may increase your rent, but it's definitely worthwhile. Security guards not only help keep your stuff safe when you're gone, but they also allow you to feel safe while walking into the building, and they might sign for any deliveries that you aren't home to get.

4. CONSIDER AN ALARM SYSTEM

Getting an alarm system is a prime way to protect your stuff, mainly because it scares away burglars without anybody getting hurt. There are some caveats you should be aware of, however, because you live in an apartment. There are two types of alarm systems: natural and electronic.

Natural alarms
Electronic alarms

Natural alarms

First of all, let's talk about the most natural (and some say effective) alarm system: a dog. If you want to get a dog purely for protective purposes, that's your right. Just be sure that you train your dog properly so that it doesn't attack small children or your mother. However, we suggest staying away from vicious attack dogs (for the aforementioned reason) and stick with barky yappy dogs. Barking is usually enough to keep anyone away. To pick the perfect dog for your apartment, visit the aptly named article "SYW pick the right dog for you?"

Electronic alarms

If you decide to buy an electronic alarm system, you should buy one with an audible alarm AND a silent alarm that notifies the police station. Remember, the point of it is to scare the criminal away by drawing attention to your apartment. But if you buy one of those sensitive alarms that wails like a dying banshee every time you blow your nose, you're going to be loathed, and even if someone does break in and the alarm goes off, your neighbors will ignore it anyway. This is why alarm systems are generally frowned upon in apartment buildings. Additionally, as we've said, if a criminal really wants to get into your place, he or she will probably find a way to disarm the alarm. (Those bastards!)

Here's a tip that police officers advise to apartment dwellers: buy stickers that advertise an alarm system, but don't buy the alarm. Pretty crafty, eh? The benefits:

  1. You won't annoy your neighbors.
  2. You'll save lots of money.
  3. Criminals will probably opt not to take the chance with an alarm system and look for a door without a sticker.

If you decide to buy a security system, we recommend sticking to major brands such as Slomin's Shield, Brinks, or ADT for maximum dependability. It can get expensive though expect to pay $100 - $300 for the system itself, plus monthly fees (of about $30). You can get some more info about electronic alarm systems here.

If you decide to just buy the sticker, check some hardware stores to see if they have stickers. If not, you can get some here. Remember to put the sticker on all entrances, including windows.

Feeling safer already? Remember your main objective is to make your apartment incredibly undesirable to try to break into - these criminals are a lazy bunch. Hey, that's why they're criminals. And by the way - if you're a burglar reading this: everything above is a lie.