It's time to finally say sayonara to that cave you call an apartment. We're sure the roaches will miss you - almost as much as you'll miss that freak in 2B with a penchant for blasting Michael Bolton at all hours of the night. You're FREE!

Well, almost free. Remember that security deposit you gave to the landlord when you signed your lease? It would be nice to get that back. It would also be nice to avoid getting charged for unnecessary repairs that the landlord performs after you're gone. So save your money and allow us to guide you through the process of properly vacating your apartment.

Oh, one last thing: Remember that none of this informative article is meant as a substitute for individual legal advice. (Our lawyers are now smiling.)

1. GIVE NOTICE TO YOUR LANDLORD

If you think you can just pick up and move out of your apartment anytime you feel like it, realize that this is almost never the case; rather, you must give a certain predetermined amount of notice to your landlord. So here's the proper procedure for giving your landlord notice:

  1. Go and find your lease. If you can't locate it (or once used it to line the litterbox), then go to your landlord and get a copy of it as soon as possible. Just make sure that your landlord gives you a copy of the one that you actually signed and not another version (those landlords can be tricky!).

  2. Look through the lease and find out how much notice you agreed to give to your landlord before vacating.

That isn't all quite as straightforward as you would think, because sometimes they also require that your last day coincide with the end of a rental period. As a result, you might not be able to move out. Here's an example:

  • You decide on March 20 that you want to vacate your apartment.

  • Thirty days are required as notice by your lease.

  • The first day of every month is the end of your rental period.

  • Therefore, if you decide to give notice that day (March 20), you would not be able to vacate until the end of the following rental period (May 1) and not April 21, even though this would be more than thirty days later.

So our advice is to give your landlord plenty of notice (more than your minimum requirement) and arrange it so that the last day of your lease coincides with your rent period.

2. CLEAN AND REPAIR YOUR APARTMENT

Don't worry, you're not responsible for leaving your landlord an apartment that looks absolutely and utterly impeccable. Reasonable wear and tear is generally expected. You can find out exactly what condition your apartment should be left in by looking at the lease.

If you notice that any of the repairs you are required to make are grossly unfair (e.g., you must re-tile your entire bathroom), you should first kick yourself for signing a bum lease, and then heave a sigh of relief as you realize that you might be able to get out of it. The legal regulations of what kinds of repairs your are responsible for change from city to city and state to state. So click here to find out what the legal requirements are in your city.

Chances are, though, that your lease will be legal and that you'll be responsible for doing some light cleaning and easy repairs (anything that the landlord feels wasn't up to snuff will be deducted from your security deposit). Here's how to go about it:

  1. Look around your apartment and assess its status. Would you move in there if it was left in that condition? Did any major catastrophes occur (e.g., holes in the walls, doors falling off hinges, etc.)? Basically you want to leave the apartment relatively close to the same condition it was in when you moved in.

  2. Check to see if there are any areas that could use a little paint, and paint those areas (with the right colored paint). Don't add any creative details like happy faces or unicorns. Just paint.

  3. If you have small holes (from hanging pictures, attaching coat hooks, etc.) then you don't have to worry about painting. Just use a spackling compound to fill in the holes. If you don't want to worry about spackling (and you're willing to risk getting caught), consider filling the holes in with toothpaste or soap (if your walls are white) - they fill in holes very quickly and very easily.

  4. For larger holes (from, say, your friend's fist during his weekly drunken rage), you might need to install wallboard.

  5. Directions for painting, spackling, and wallboarding on your own, visit www.homedepot.com and www.lowes.com. Of course you could also just hire someone.

  6. Many leases require you to clean your floors (wax for hardwood, shampoo for carpets). These can be quite tough tasks to handle on your own, so we suggest that you hire a professional. Just realize that it's something that you may get charged for if you don't do it.

  7. Clean your bathroom as well as you can. This especially means getting rid of the fungus and mold on the walls.

  8. Defrost, clean, and turn off the refrigerator.

  9. Leave the apartment as empty as it was when you got there; the landlord will charge you for the removal of anything you leave behind (even if it's little-like your sister). If you have something that you don't want (a table, a sofa, whatever), you can either call the future tenant and offer to sell it to them, or you can find a Goodwill and give it to charity (we recommend the second option).

3. DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT

Now that your apartment is speckless, it's time to compare it to the sheet you filled out when you arrived at the apartment that assesses what was damaged when you moved in. You did fill one of those out, right? It protects you from having to repair the previous tenant's damage. If everything matches up, then you can expect to get your full security deposit back.

But believe it or not, all landlords are not quite as honest as you would like-you may disagree about the cost of a particular repair, or if the repair is even your responsibility. Therefore, you need to document the exact condition of your hovel when you left it. Here's how to do that properly.

One way to solve these problems is to arrange a time to meet with your landlord after you have removed all of your goodies from the apartment and made any repairs. Walk through the apartment, and see what he/she expects you to pay for. Discuss everything right out in the open, write down the results, and have him/her sign the agreement. You're now free and clear of having any extra repairs taken out of your security deposit.

Taking pictures of your cleared out apartment right before you are ready to turn in the keys is also a good idea. Even get a friend to hold the front page of that day's newspaper within every camera shot - this will verify that the pictures had to be taken on or after that certain date (aren't we so Nancy Drew?).

After your foray into "Candid Camera," make sure you immediately turn all of the keys in to the landlord personally or send them certified mail. And make sure that you include a forwarding address for the return of your security deposit.

4. GET YOUR SECURITY DEPOSIT BACK

Within a certain amount of time after you have left the apartment (as mandated by local law), your landlord must either send you your security deposit back or an itemized list of the deductions claimed plus the remainder of your deposit. If you get your full deposit back, then heave a heavy sigh of relief and move on with your harried life. If any/all of your security deposit is withheld, then you have two choices:

  1. Read the letter, admit that those are costs for which you are responsible, and forget about it.

  2. Dispute the deductions. To do this, read the letter and itemized list carefully to determine by when you need to respond. If you miss the deadline, then tough. If you have a problem with any of the deductions, write a letter disputing either the existence of the repair (with proof, such as a copy of your photographs or a copy of your original damage report from when you moved in) or the cost of the repair (with proof, such as a general estimate from another expert). You always have the right to get a "second opinion" estimate if you think the landlord is charging way too much for a repair.

If the landlord sends you nothing (no letter, no deposit, no nothing) after a set amount of time also determined by local law, he/she must forfeit any claim to your deposit. Unfortunately, this still might leave you with no choice but to sue for return of your deposit. To do so, you should first check to see if there is a tenants' association for your area or state; they can direct you best how to proceed, especially if you decide to file a claim in Small Claims Court. A letter detailing your willingness to go to court might be all that is necessary to create an incentive for a pesky landlord to disgorge your security deposit-especially because that, depending on the jurisdiction, some areas will offer a tenant twice or thrice the security deposit if a tenant wins the case, as well as reasonable attorney's fees.

So go get 'em! And we congratulate you on leaving your apartment (and Michael Bolton) behind you.