3. VISIT THE MAIN ATTRACTIONS OF LAS VEGAS

You've got your place to stay. Now it's time to hit the town and stagger around like the drunken, awe-stricken tourist you are.

Even though there's a myriad of other things to do, the town still revolves around gambling. Hey, it wouldn't be a trip to Vegas if you didn't toss some money down the drain.

Casinos

First you have to find a casino - this is about as difficult as finding salt in the ocean. If you'll just be gambling while passing through hotels and don't feel like learning any table games, you'll probably toss a few quarters in a slot machine. You will lose.

But for the more casino-savvy, Las Vegas is your Promised Land. You'll find table games with minimums ranging from $1 to high roller games of staggering proportions. Vegas is also the land of "comps," which are freebies that casinos give to hardcore gamblers, such as meals, shows, or even rooms. Casinos do this for gamblers to 1) keep them in the hotel, 2) keep them gambling, and 3) keep them from blowing up the hotel after they sink their life savings. If you are planning to play big, the best idea is to do it at your hotel - just ask for a "comp card" when you check in. If you gamble enough, you may even get your room discounted or free.

If you don't know the games, we can help. Our article "SoYouWanna Learn to Play Poker?" can help you with the video poker machines (and real poker tables), and to learn to play blackjack, craps, and other casino games, see this site. But please remember these tips:

  1. Never walk around with more money than you're willing to lose. Chances are that you're going to empty your wallet, so only take that much.

  2. Never run to a cash machine to get more money more than once a day. There are cash machines everywhere trying to tempt you to give it one more try.

  3. Never pawn your airline tickets home to get some more cash because you just "know" that the next roll is gonna hit it big. You're gonna lose, and you'll be stranded.

Sure, you don't have a gambling problem, but it's not that hard to get one - gambling is omnipresent in Las Vegas (airports, grocery stores, bathrooms, everywhere). And just because we're in such an after-school special mood, visit this site before you go.

Hotel attractions

After you've lost all your money in the casino, you'll need something to do that's free. You're in the right place. Again we'll stress that this section is not comprehensive, but if you're a newbie to Vegas, check this stuff out:

  • The Venetian: Recreates the charm and architecture of Italy with a replica of the Sistine Chapel painting, and gondola rides on the river that runs through a fancy-schmancy mall.

  • The Bellagio: Along with the art gallery, it features an outdoor water show of synchronized fountains spurting amazing designs in the air, choreographed to music. (Be warned: you'll probably have to go to the bathroom after you watch it.)

  • Treasure Island: Watch a pirate ship fight with death-defying acrobatics and flames shooting all over the place. If you've been waiting all your life to say, "Arr, matey!," this is it. Don't blow it.

  • Excalibur: Here, the Knights of the Round Table will put on a joust and sword fight. Go watch them get gouged to forget how badly you just lost at roulette.

  • The Mirage: Colored smoke, roaring flames… all the fun of Pompeii without the carnage.

  • Flamingo Pool: A helluva pool that's open to all. Complete with a waterfall, waterslide, and poolside bar, it's perfect to cool off in the heat.

Plus, when you're hungry, you're in the Land of Buffets. All hotels have them, and you'll usually get good food for a very reasonable price. You should know that in Las Vegas, you lose all conception of time and place (casinos don't have any clocks or windows in them), so schedules fly right out the window. But luckily the hotels never close, and the free shows usually run hourly throughout the day, and some even at night.