Can I invite men to the shower?
Yes. Many showers are female-only events, but if the bride has male friends you should feel free to invite them.

Should the bride know in advance who is coming to the shower?
Yes. If you want to surprise her, you can have one or two guests that you don't tell her about but she should see and approve the general guest list.

Is it acceptable to ask the guests to pay their own way?
Yes, if the event is at a place like a strip or comedy club. Make sure that the guests are told in advance that they will have to pay.

How many guests should I invite?
This is up to you. You can invite from 5 to 50 guests; the real limiting factor is cost and the bride's preferences.

Can I throw a surprise wedding shower?
These aren't recommended. The bride-to-be may be busy and it's usually a good idea to have the bride approve the guest list.

Can I invite people to the shower who aren't invited to the wedding?
Yes, although you may not want to. It can be nice to have the bride's acquaintances and co-workers at the party but it may be awkward to have people around who didn't get invited to the wedding.

When should the shower be?
Three to six weeks before the wedding.

What information do I need to include in the invitations?
You need to say who the shower if for, when it is, where it is, who's hosting it, how to RSVP, the theme (if applicable), and where the bride is registered.

How far in advance should I send out the invitations?
About four weeks, so the guests will have time to RSVP.

Should I serve alcohol at the shower?
Yes, unless the bride is expecting.


SoYouWanna know more? Check out our full-length article SoYouWanna host a wedding shower?