If you're old enough to fancy yourself a grown-up but still young enough to harbor delusions of hipness, odds are you haven't given much thought to gardening. After all, you've probably spent most of your life (that is, your life not living with your parents) living in dormitories and apartments with no yard and, therefore, no gardening opportunities. If anything grew inside your apartment, it was probably that unintentional, unidentifiable and seemingly sentient green slime evolving in your sink whenever the dishes were left sitting for too long.

Maybe you weren't born with a green thumb, but you can still grow a window garden that will make your friends and neighbors green with envy. Because while it's not easy being green (or coming up with this many bad puns and clichés utilizing "green," it is relatively easy to grow a window garden, as long as you follow our simple steps.

1. DETERMINE THE PURPOSE OF YOUR WINDOW GARDEN

Window gardens are still something of a rarity in America, except for in brownstone houses in hoity-toity neighborhoods. In Europe and Asia, however, they are as all-pervasive as boybands are in the U.S. For instance, in Japan-where most terrain is steep and uninhabitable, causing populations to crowd in small areas-window gardens offer aesthetic and spiritual relief.

You may not expect your window garden to provide profound spiritual relief. In fact, you may just be trying to cover up a patch of graffiti. So your first major decision should be to figure out the purpose for your garden; from there, you can choose the right plants for your garden.

Ornamentation

Most people's window gardens exist purely to spruce up their home and neighborhood. You may be satisfied to have just one burst of color in the spring and then allow trailing plants such as to dominate the window garden for the remainder of the growing season. Some spring followers include:

  • pansies
  • tulips
  • daffodils
  • crocuses
  • primroses
  • lilies
  • violas
However, if you wish to continue seeing flowers through the summer, plant:

  • geraniums
  • lavender
  • impatiens
  • salvia
  • petunias
  • daisies
  • begonias
  • zinnias
  • fuschias
  • nasturtiums
(Nasturtiums have an added bonus for urban gardeners: their leaves and flowers are edible and add a peppery, cress-like taste to salads and sandwiches).

For permanent window boxes and year-round greenery, a "winter interest" window garden can include evergreen such as:

  • dwarf Alberta spruce
  • bristlecone pine
  • mugho pine
  • small cacti
The dwarf evergreens grow at a rate of an inch per year, so they are ideally suited to long-term window gardening. Finally, trailing plants (the kind that grow down your window) are great for year-round greens. Some examples are:

  • ivy
  • myrtle
  • creeping Jenny
  • sweet potato vine
  • vinca

Fragrance

Does your apartment stink? We're not talking about "a lousy apartment;" we're talking about that funky dirty-sock smell. If so, then some fragrant plants could be the cover-up your olfactory sense craves. Examples include:

Lemon smell:Mint julep smell:Other scented plants:
  • sweet basil
  • mint
  • lemon balm
  • lemon verbana
  • lemon thyme
  • dill

  • peppermint
  • spearmint
  • pineapple mint
  • sweet alyssum
  • nicotania
  • lavender
  • jasmine
  • moonflowers

    • Food

    Hey, a kid's gotta eat! Many vegetables can be grown in window gardens:

    • lettuce
    • cabbage
    • tomatoes
    • beans
    • peas
    • scallions
    • kale
    • peppers
    You can grow herbs too, such as:

    • sage
    • thyme
    • rosemary
    • basil
    • parsley
    • marjoram
    • mint
    • dill
    • hops
    • sorrel
    • lemon balm
    • bay
    After all those college years of only growing something that gave you the munchies, isn't it nice to finally grow something that cures them?

    2. DETERMINE YOUR WINDOW'S LIGHT SOURCE

    There's this weird thing about plants: they die if they don't get sunlight. So if you want to grow sun-loving plants like dahlias, nasturtiums or cacti, you have to make sure that your window isn't facing a dark brick alley. Here are some basic guidelines:

    • If your window faces north, your plants will receive very little direct light except in the very early morning and late afternoon, so you will need to grow shade-loving plants.

    • If your window faces south, your plants will receive full sun throughout most of the day.

    • If your window faces east, your plants will receive good sunlight in the morning when there is not a lot of heat and therefore can support both sun and shade loving plants.

    • If your window faces west, your plants will receive afternoon sunlight and heat; they will need to be watered more often than north and east facing windows.

    Also take into consideration how wide your street is, because wider streets allow for more sunlight than narrow streets. Finally, consider the color and material of buildings across from your window: light-colored buildings and buildings made of stone or glass reflect light back onto your window garden; brick buildings and wood buildings painted in dark colors absorb light.

    Now you can choose your plants. Here are some suggestions:

    Sun-loving plants:

    • alyssum
    • geraniums
    • petunias
    • heliotrope
    • dusty miller
    • cosmos
    • snapdragons
    • dahlias
    • nasturtiums
    • succulents

    Shade-loving plants:

    • ferns
    • begonias
    • hosta
    • impatiens
    • ivy
    • caladium
    • violas
    • violet
    • mint
    • philodendron
    • sweet woodruff
    • peace lilies
    To take a quick quiz about which type of plants fit your lifestyle and living situation (and to see pictures of those plants), visit The Floracle.

    3. GET THE RIGHT PLANTER

    Ultimately, you will want your planter to be more or less obscured by foliage, which means that the planter's appearance doesn't matter too much. A window box makes an ideal planter for a window garden-their rectangular shape is easier to secure than rounded pots, and they create the appearance of uninterrupted growth (even when individually potted plants are resting inside them).

    Size

    • You want your garden to fit the length of your window (that is, the vertical depth). Remember, your window garden acts like drapery to enhance your window, so don't buy a window box that dwarfs your home by comparison. Besides, if your window box is too big, it becomes unwieldy and difficult to install.

    • Horizontal depth (that's "front to back" for the linguistically challenged) will determine how many rows of plants you can fit in your window garden. Typically, you don't want anything deeper than three rows.

    • The remaining dimension to consider is the vertical height (how deep shall your garden grow?). If you only plan on growing your window garden from the spring through the fall, a depth of seven or eight inches is sufficient. If you wish to grow plants year round, however, you need a window box twelve to fifteen inches deep. Extra depth allows you to add insulating material to keep plant roots and bulbs from freezing.

    Materials

    • If you want a window box that is astoundingly elegant and heavier than Mama Cass, look for limestone, terra-cotta or cast-iron window boxes. These materials are great for window garden in formal architecture such as brownstone homes, museums and small castles, although they are not at all practical for beginners.

    • For the frugal window gardener, a plastic window box will prove far more pragmatic, if somewhat less regal. They are the most affordable, are truly lightweight and hold moisture well. And while plastic may seem terribly tacky (or trendy in a kitschy way), bear in mind that your foliage will probably trail low enough eventually to cover most of the planter. However, plastic planters do become brittle and crack with age, so be prepared to replace them every couple of years.

    • When buying a wooden window box, choose durable, rot-resistant wood such as California redwood, cedar, pine and marine plywood. Avoid spruces and firs.

    • For a truly natural look, there are window boxes made from matted straw or similar organic materials set into an iron frame. They are surprisingly attractive on brick rowhouses, where they soften the severity and angularity of the architecture.

    • Avoid tin window boxes. You don't want to bump into it and have to get a tetanus shot, do you?

    • Window boxes are available in most hardware and gardening stores as well as chains like Wal-Mart, K-Mart and Home Depot. Of course, the truly industrious gardener can build a window box from scratch. Even Martha Stewart will be jealous.

    Drainage

    • Whether buying (or building) a window box, drainage holes at the bottom are a must. Although keeping the soil constantly moist is important, constantly saturated soil will cause your plant to rot. Waterlogged soil is prone to develop fungal and bacterial growth making it unfit for future plantings, not to mention slimy and stinky.

    4. INSTALL YOUR PLANTER

    Even if your window box is small enough to fit onto your window ledge, you will need to secure it to the exterior of your building (unless, of course, your garden is strictly on the indoor portion of your window sill). Accidents do happen… window boxes have been known to accidentally fall, plummeting 3 floors and knocking people out cold. There are three different methods to installing a planter: 1) hook-and-eye latches; 2) 2-inch angle-iron anchors; or 3) angle brackets.

    Hook-and-eye latches: You have probably seen hook-and-eye latches on screen doors. If the ledge of your window is deep enough to hold the entire window box and your window frame is wooden (that is, you don't need to hand the planter out the window), then a simple hook-and-eye latch on each side of the window box will suffice to keep it from tipping out. Here's how to do it: measure a distance from the window frame to the back of the box that will allow you to slip the hook in tautly, drill the necessary holes and affix your window box. Simple as pie!

    2-inch angle-iron anchors: If your box won't fit entirely on the window sill, the addition of angle-iron anchors will provide support from underneath to supplement the security of the hook-and-eye latch.

    Angle brackets: If your window sill is not wooden and unable to accommodate a hook-and-eye set (or if you have a particularly deep window box), then angle brackets are the route to go. They can be secured directly to the facade of your building and hold the planter in its place. For stone or brick buildings, you'll need a mason's drill bit to screw the angle brackets into place.

    Regardless of which method you use, there are three important rules to follow:

    • Don't fill your planter until after you have secured it to your building. If you fill your planter before you have rigged support, it will make the window box heavier, more difficult to manage, and more likely to plummet.

    • Don't drill holes in a rental property unless receiving landlord approval.

    • Use common sense. If you have no industrial aptitude, have a friend, relative, significant other, or paid professional do this step for you.

    5. FILL YOUR PLANTER

    This is where you finally get to put all of those pretty plants you're dying to show off into your window box and create an actual window garden!

    First of all, make sure that you have all of the proper tools for planting and ultimately caring for the garden:

    • A watering can
    • A small cultivator (a kitchen fork will do… just don't use it again)
    • A small knife or sharp scissors for pruning
    • A small trowel (if transplanting will occur)
    • A mister (as in "that which sprays mist," not "that which is not a Mrs.").

    Buy your plants

    Treat buying your plants like you would finding a date: shop around. In fact, carry that metaphor a little further and look for the same traits in your plants that you would in a mate:

    • Good roots (to determine this, examine the plant's bottom thoroughly-don't worry, you won't get slapped)

    • Well-formed limbs… we mean, foliage

    • Vigorous growth

    • The absence of diseases or pests

    If your window box is deep enough, you can actually place your purchased plants, pot and all, into the window box and not worry about soil. This allows you to remove plants that have passed their prime and replace them quickly without a lot of needless work. When the plants grow enough, they'll cover the pots.

    If you're more of a hard-core gardener, you can use old-fashioned soil. This method is more time-intensive, since each replanting will involve digging out old plants and transplanting new ones, taking care not to damage the root systems or limbs. For best results, use store-bought soils, since they're made for the activity.

    If you are actually transplanting rather than placing pots into your window box, here are some good tips:

    • Transplant as soon as possible after purchasing to prevent excessive stress to the plants' systems.

    • Using your trowel, transplant on a moderately cool day or during the cool early morning or late evening hours when heat is less likely to shock or kill your plants.

    • Water your plants immediately. This eases the plants' transition.

    6. PROVIDE REGULAR MAINTENANCE TO YOUR GARDEN

    Now that your window garden is planted, there's only one small task remaining: keeping the sucker pretty. Caring for plants is easier than caring for a pet or a spouse, so quit whining and read:

    Water your garden regularly
    Fertilize your garden
    Dead-heading
    Pinching and pruning new growth
    Cultivate your soil

    Water your garden regularly

    Regularly does not mean "whenever you remember" or "every third Tuesday." Your garden needs to be watered almost every day, perhaps even twice a day in hot summer weather. The only way to know whether or not your garden needs water is to check the soil each day. Stick your finger an inch into the soil, and see if the soil is moist down there. If the soil is waterlogged, you can skip a day or two (constantly wet soil prevents the roots from taking up air). Otherwise, the soil should be moist about an inch below the surface. If it isn't, your plants aren't getting enough water. Don't forget to wash your finger.

    To water properly, position the spout of your watering can at the base of the plant before pouring to prevent too much sudden force. Use tepid water, which plant roots absorb more quickly than cold water. Excessively hot water may scald the plant, and excessively cold water can shock the plant's system.

    Fertilize your garden

    Fertilize the first time you water after transplanting and then every two weeks thereafter. Fertilizer is necessary in window gardens because nutrients are drained from the soil. Fertilizer is available in both chemical and organic forms to suit your personal philosophy, but the most important part of fertilizing is mineral ratio. Use a fertilizer with 15-30-15 ratio. What do these numbers mean?

    • The first number refers to nitrogen, which promotes lush growth.

    • The second number refers to phosphorous, which governs root development, bud-set, color, disease resistance and maturation.

    • The third number refers to potassium, which is responsible for general vigor.

    Yes, we realize that 15% + 30% + 15% add up to 60%, but that's because the rest of the fertilizer is composed of filler (that is, dirt and trace minerals). If you can't find a 15-30-15 mix, then use similar ratios (5-10-5, 10-20-10, etc.) to emphasize stem growth and root development. Too much nitrogen gives you lush foliage but few flowers.

    Dead-heading

    It has nothing to do with communing with Jerry Garcia. Rather, "dead-heading" is the removal of dead, dying, or faded flowers and their stems from your plant to discourage it from sapping the energy from the rest of the plant. Dead-heading forces your plants to send up new flowers, and it also keeps it looking neat and well-tended.

    Pinching and pruning new growth

    To force thicker foliage in perennials and trailing plants, occasionally pinch off the new growth at the end of a stem or vine (known as "terminal growth"). The plant will respond by sending thicker growth along the side buds (known as "radial growth").

    Cultivate your soil

    Aerate your soil by occasionally poking gently with your cultivator/kitchen fork. Mulching the top layer of soil 1) helps it hold in water, 2) protects against sun, and 3) prevents weeds from rooting. Be especially cautious about weeds-you should remove weeds by pulling them from the base of their stems to guarantee removal of the root system. If your plants become infested with pests or insects, you may have to spray with insecticide. Bear in mind, however, that insecticides will also kill beneficial insects (like ladybugs) and attractive insects (like butterflies). So we suggest that you first try to eradicate pests by misting the plants with hot water before resorting to chemical sprays. Yes, hot water is bad for plants, but bugs are worse.

    You now have a window garden that will make your house the envy of everybody else on the block. Even if you don't create a spectacular garden your first time out, there's always next season.